A Florida-based insurance agency that has been offering alien abduction coverage to the good people of planet Earth since 1987 has recently added Area 51 Coverage, inspired by the recent Facebook campaign titled ‘Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us’, and intended for those planning a surge of the restricted-access military zone
Saint Lawrence Agency, founded by Mike St Lawrence, offers a US$10-million policy with $20-million double indemnity (should there be extenuating circumstances) for the single lifetime premium of $19.95.
The alien abduction policy offers outpatient psychiatric care, double indemnity coverage and sarcasm coverage – ‘if they heckle you’, explained St Lawrence, though he noted that the sarcasm coverage is limited to immediate family members only. “In our research, we found out that 70 per cent of all the sarcasm originates in the immediate family,” he said.
By 1999 the company had over 5,000 policyholders and approved two claims. “If you do the math – if you’re working with the internal revenue service – it’s not a great deal of money,” said St Lawrence in an interview with Fox 13 in 1999. “I just want to make that clear, because I don’t want to have to do anything.”
The two claims came in from New York state through claim forms, which, as a rule, must include a description of the event, the aliens, the aircraft type, the abduction itself and have the signature of an authorised onboard alien. The head of the claims department at the time, Mr McClaim – who St Lawrence detailed had no credentials whatsoever, but at the time of the interview had yet to make any mistakes – authorised one of the claims based on an imprint that a gentlemen obtained and which a professor at MIT deemed to be ‘not of earthly origin’ upon examination.
The gentlemen in question is currently receiving his $10-million payment in installments of one dollar a year over 10 million years, as per the policy conditions of payment.
And since the Facebook page gained popularity, Saint Lawrence Agency has gained additional policyholders, bringing its numbers to above 6,000.
Saint Lawrence Agency also offers additional policies including the Asteroid Insurance Policy, the Y2K Policy, the Reincarnation Policy and the Over the Hill Policy, all of which are valued at $10 million, and all of which cost $19.95 for a digital policy (or $24.95 for a paper document), with a group rate offering of $40.95 for three or more policies. Speaking about the Over the Hill Policy, St Lawrence added: “I wrote it when I was below 40, and I don’t think it’s so damn funny anymore to be honest.”
Policyholders include members of NASA, FBI agents and people looking for an original gift for a birthday. And as per the terms of purchase, policyholders are required to ‘have a sense of humour’. “We’re not trying to scam anybody, it’s a humorous product for gift giving,” commented St Lawrence.
We’ll be interested to see if any of the big players in the insurance world decide to offer this coverage to any of their customers in the near future, but for now it’s good to know that Mike St Lawrence has everyone covered for any unworldly eventualities.